Tuesday, March 30, 2010

You are stuck with me!

Today, I had one of those days where I feel like telling Jelly Belly, “Sorry you are stuck with me.” I was cranky, irritable, just not having a good mom day. I always feel bad afterwards. Guilt, it gets the best out of me. She did nothing out of the ordinary, but I am not proud of the way I handled things today. I gave up yelling for lent today. My husband laughs at me. I think I have done pretty well. I usually find enough patience in me to explain in a calm way why I don’t like it when she takes her socks off at the gym’s day care or at the playground, or why she shouldn’t do this or that. I try to take the time to give her options so she feels somewhat in control of her life. I give her warnings and explain the consequences she may face. Today was not one of those days. All I wanted to do was scream “because I said so!”

I had no patience for her silliness, or energy to ask her a million times to do something. I should have known it was going to be one of those days when she came in to the den holding her plate, cup and bagel all at once, she was so proud. “Mom, I can carry all of this” and then suddenly everything slips out of her tiny hands and she drenched herself in water, yep, the cup was full. We were late to the library once again.

In the afternoon, I realized I needed to check my work email. I set up a worksheet for her to do, she usually loves these. She calls them her homework. Today, she lasted less than 3 minutes. Then, I set up a puzzle for her in the same room, but she had no focus. I finished up my work and actually sat down with her. I was not in the mood for puzzles. My patience was thin. Then, sweet little belly wanted to sit on my lap. Not a terrible request, but I wanted no part of it! I wanted my personal space. I wanted her to stop talking. She then got upset because I did not want to share my apple with her. I knew the only reason she wanted it was because it was mine. She had just finished lunch. I catch myself. Did I really just tell her NO, it’s mine! Yikes, I give in. She sucks on my apple and then gives it back to me, all soggy. Gross.

Then she got upset because I picked up the wrong puzzle piece. “I wanted to do that one”, she says. Any other day, we would have worked through it. Today I made it worse. It ended up with me saying or maybe yelling, "I need some alone time". She was so upset, but admitted she was tired and wanted to take a nap. Yeah, right!! But she had quiet time in her room, it lasted maybe 30 minutes. Then she comes out and says, “Mommy can we please have a happy ending”. And I manage to give her a smile.

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