Things are looking up...

This week was a lot better! Let's see how long it lasts. 
I am catching myself before I over react to certain things...
No reason to sweat the small things, right?
I am giving us more time to get out of the house and I am making it a point to have quality play time each day.  I think we went over a week without me raising my voice and when I did start to get frustrated or mad, she totally feeds off me.

We are adapting to our new house and our new city and new routines.  I feel Jelly Belly is even coming out of her shell a bit. 

A few months ago, she would have never agreed to this:

She walked right up and wanted it BEFORE the ice cream!!!

I am making such an effort to meet people that today I am feeling exhausted and missing friends and family.

Isabella has been talking a lot lately and it's a bit draining at times.  That is why I can't keep up with this blog.  I am so tired by the end of the day.  I don't know how some of you blog almost every day. 

We have been spending a lot of time outdoors and visiting new places in Northern California.  We have been to Mrs. Grossman Sticker Factory, Stinson Beach, Bay Area Discovery Museum, The Marine Mammal Center and the Aquarium of the Bay.

 I hope to soon share our experiences with you!

Where is my sweet Jelly Belly?

Motherhood has not been very fun lately.
To be honest, I have felt like running away from Jelly Belly more than once this past week.

Yep, I totally jinxed myself last week.  It was too good to be true.  Good behavior, what is that?

My child is possessed!

That's how I felt this morning, that is the text message I sent to my friend.

I called my husband, not knowing what to do.  I can't even describe it.
She has been screaming at me and it is getting worse!  Mostly, when she doesn't want to do something.

She was sent to her room, shortly after I woke her, even before the Lucky Charms. This is what I heard:

I don't like you.
It's not fair.
I don't want to be in my room.

It's not what she is saying that concerns me the most but how she says it. So much anger, and I have no idea where it is coming from.

I don't know what to do. I even considered looking for a full time job today.  Are we spending too much time together? What am I doing wrong.  Lots of questions, and no answers. 
This discipline crap is hard!

She ended up taking a nap today.  I ignored her for a bit and then found her asleep on the couch. She slept for 4 hours! Somebody was tired. 

Almost midnight and she is still awake!
Please let tomorrow be a better mommy day, you know the kind of day the you have never ending patience and love and manage to stay calm and cool....
The kind of day where yelling does not exist and mommy doubts don't enter your mind.

Please let it be a better mommy day!

Dog Town

Not sure why, but the past couple of days, Jelly Belly has been behaving! We may be getting over the half year hump as the big 4 approaches. Maybe all the taking toys away last week got through or I am more relaxed and going with the flow of things.

I know I just jinxed myself...and if I did, I will be sure to let you know.

She had a great first day at preschool and I enjoyed my 3.5 hours of alone time! I made myself sit down and drink my green tea while watching The View on T.V.  I can't remember the last time I did that, and I can't believe I missed President Obama on the show.

After preschool today, we did a lot of grocery shopping.  She spotted these:

and clearly remembered that "One time at Target, you didn't buy them for me because I was misbehaving."
So today she earned her prize, and a great choice it was.  I sat outside watching her play with them.  Then, she sponge painted with them, which let me catch up with one of my friends on the phone for an entire hour. I was in mommy heaven.

I will also share with you that her imagination was a bit too much for me today.  I know she is an only child but geez!  Even the hubby agrees here.  We already have "Danny" and "Penny", the imaginary friends that have stuck around for quite some time now.  They made the move with us and managed to come to California but now, Jelly Belly has pretend pets!!!!  She already has 2 real ones, so I am not sure what's going on.

She carries 'lil stuffed animals, telling me they are her puppies.  It goes a little something like this:

This is my little puppy (Pookie or was it Sara?) and she is zero months old.
Will you take care of her while I am at school? Make sure that you play with her. Isn't she so cute?

Then I was grilled on what exactly I did to take care of the thing....

How was your day while I was at school today?

I actually thought, oh how sweet, and I went on to tell her that I did some cleaning, washed the dishes and folded some clothes and called one of my friends, when she interrupted and said:

But how was Pookie? Did you rock her? Did you pet her? Did you play with her?

And, then later on she came up with Dog Town (thanks Train Town) and would not let it go!

Let's pretend that we are at Dog Town and it's like a little town for dogs.  They take dance classes there, they have their own grocery stores and the doggies there talk to their owners....

I can only go along with it for so long!

Dog Town was still going on strong when Daddy got home, so at least I was not alone.

It really is good to have a HUGE imagination? Right???

What are your little ones saying this week?

Join Tiny Talk Tuesdays!

Our new home!

It’s been over a month since my last post!!!

I am joining a new Friday Follow this week!

Thank you for visiting!

I survived the big move and we are starting to settle in. It’s been a tough transition but we are adjusting. We are renting a house in Northern California, in a small town called Petaluma.
We are about 45 minutes from San Francisco. We have already been able to explore the city and take Jelly Belly to many FUN spots. There is so much to do! I am loving the weather and for the first time in my life, I do not have a job!! Scary but exciting, isn't that what I have always wanted? To stay home with my Jelly Belly full time? The adventure is only beginning!

Moving to a new state has been quite the experience.  We are faced with new surroundings and a lot of change.  One of my biggest challenges is adapting to the size of home. We lost about 1000 square feet, so a BIG change but a lot less cleaning (I hope).

Even though, we had 2 garage sales and have taken many, many trips to Goodwill, we still have too much stuff!!

Since my foot is still hurting and I am taking it easy on the driving, I am considering some online shopping.

I am mostly struggling with our bedroom and our bathroom. So much that I arrived here on July 1 and I am barely starting to go in there and see what I can do!

Our bathroom does not even have any towel racks! The little things I took for granted.

Luckily, we do have a Bathroom Spacesaver. I am using a few wicker baskets that look nice and are great for storage. Funny how they were empty at the old house but have been put to good use in our new bathroom.  Since I have gotten rid of a lot of stuff I need to purchase new bathroom accesories. I

I will be posting pics of Jelly Belly's new room soon.  I was able to keep her old bedroom theme so I am very excited to share it with you.
I hope you visit again!

Lincoln logs fun!

We played Lincoln Logs yesterday.

What a big difference a few months can make!

She received this as a present for her 3rd birthday back in September, but she was not ready for them. Or maybe I was not ready.  I thought it was kind of hard. I remember she wanted to build her own thing, in her own way, and was easily frustrated when the logs would fall.

I didn't consider it much fun.  But now, a few months shy of being 4 years old, we had a blast building.  She had patience and coordination.  We had many opportunities for counting.  And best of all she used her imagination!

Driving in the grocery store

I never ever thought I would be driving one of these at the grocery store!!!!

But what else is a mama to do with a broken foot?

All of us had a blast, especially the hubby taking pics of us!

Wishing we had our camera instead of our phones!

So happy that my sense of humor is coming back!

Join us in Mommy and Me!

Hosted by Krystyn

S-T-R-E-S-S

I miss blogging! I miss routine!
Things continue to be crazy since our decision to move to California and my car accident!
I can't even begin to explain...
My foot and knee still hurts, actually my whole body hurts.  I am getting pretty good at using my crutches. It's only week 3, but parenting with one foot has been quite a challenge.

The hubby has started his new job at Lucasfilms, so I am on my own during the week. Thank God for friends and family since I cannot even drive.  We have rented our house and found a home to rent in Petaluma, California.  Jelly Belly and I will be heading out a few days before July1. The movers are coming to assess our home on Monday and still so much to do.

I have decided to finally sell all of Jelly Belly's baby stuff.  I have kept everything! Sad but everyone says as soon as I do that baby #2 will come along...we shall wait and see.

On top of everything else, remember when we took her to the dentist in April?

Well, that day we found out that Jelly Belly had 10 cavities!!! 
I think I would have flipped with just one so you can only imagine what I have been feeling.

Jelly Belly had her first dentist appointment before she turned 2.  Every 6 months our dentist would tell us what a great job we were doing and to keep it up.  Each time I asked when she would get her first x-rays, I was told that her mouth was too little and that everything was fine. 

Our last appointment in April, we were in complete shock when the dentist told us she had 4 cavities all in her front teeth.  They finally did x-rays, but only managed to get the front teeth.  I was then sent to see the financial planner who explained the procedure to me and all of a sudden I was told my child would be put to sleep under general anesthesia to get 2 baby root canals done.

The dentist never mentioned this to us.

I was horrified.  It's not like we don't brush her teeth or floss, or let her have all the candy and junk she wants.  I felt like the worse parent ever and it has taken me this long to accept that none of this is my fault and to finally blog about it.

We decided to get a 2nd opinion.  The dentist office we chose was a complete 360.  Their technology to do the x-rays was amazing.  It was so easy for them.   So easy that when they x-rayed her entire mouth, they found 10 cavities!!
I cried, right there infront of all the nurses.  I was speechless. 

To make a long story short, Jelly Belly took a trip to Phoenix Children's Hospital today for her first outpatient procedure.  I was so scared.  Each time I tried to prepare her for it this week, she would start crying.  But today, she was a trooper.  She understood she was not allowed to eat anything this morning.  She knew that she was going to go to sleep to get her teeth fixed and not one single tear!  The facility and staff was awesome!! She smiled and laughed and played in an amazing playroom before everything happened. She even waved at a nurse as she was being wheeled to the OR.

We sat in the waiting room for almost 3 hours.  She did not need the baby root canals as the other dentist had told us.  We were able to be there when she woke up, and she does not remember anything.  She has not asked any questions and besides her swollen lip and sore throat (from the tube) she has not done much complaining.

Tonight, I can breathe a little bit easier.  One less thing to worry about. One more thing checked off the list, and now on to the next.

I will keep you posted!

Thank you to everyone who has been so kind and given me my first few blog awards!
I will collect and post soon!!  Thank you all for your comments, for your get well wishes, prayers and for actually taking the time to read this!!!

Everything happens for a reason

As if life could not get any more stressful, I was in a car accident on Monday afternoon.

I am okay and thank God that I am alive. I have a broken toe, a sprained ankle and lots of bruises. I thank God that Jelly Belly was not in the car.

I don't remember much but it was the scariest thing I have ever been through.
I am so thankful God took care of me. I am trying so hard to be positive. Considering our Big Announcement, the timing could not be any worse. I keep telling myself that somehow things will work out. Everything happens for a reason.

I am having a hard time turning off the little voices in my head.
How could this have happened? We are suppose to leave for California next week to find a place to live. He starts his job on the 24th, I can't even walk. A higher cost of living and now a car payment, there is just no way.

I keep staring at my treadmill, wondering when I will be on it again. I must confess that I even weighed myself today, I am up 5 lbs. in 5 days, how can that be possible? It's got to be the swelling, right? And why oh why am I even thinking of my weight?

I am alive, and I am thankful but I am praying for strenghth to get us through this.

Jelly Belly has been amazing. She understands that I am in pain. The day of the accident, she was very upset when the day came to an end and I had not arrived to pick her up yet. She was told I had a headache and had to go to the doctor. Grandma did her best to calm her down but Jelly Belly insisted on going home. Tia A. brought her home a little bit after midnight, shortly after we got home from the hospital. Luckily she was asleep.

The next morning, she came in and asked if my head was okay and told me that she heard Grandma on the phone saying I had been in an accident. This confirms that she fully understands Grandma when she speaks Spanish.  We didn't give her any details but she cried a bit when we said it was true. She did not like the bruises and scratches and became very worried when she saw me walk/hop for the first time. Since then she has been very helpful, holding my hand each time I need to go potty and giving me lots of tender kisses.

I miss my daily routine with her, I miss hugging her and squeezing her. My family and friends have been wonderful.
I am so grateful for everyone's help, prayers and support.  Something good will come out of this, since everything happens for a reason.

Weird and Wacky Wednesday

I don't usually work on Wednesday mornings but today I had an early meeting and some things to take care of.

As I was trying to sneak out this morning, Jelly Belly found me and said, "Mommy, last night, I fell off my bed and when I woke up, I was sleeping on my bean bag, and I was like woah, what's going on, but it was so funny mom, I fell off the bed and I didn't cry, I just snuggled up on the bean bag...."

She was so cute and funny.  I love it when she wakes up in a good mood.

I hurried off to work.  I worked like a maniac, another thing I don't usually do, because I had to rush out at 11am to pick up Jelly Belly from preschool. 

I was greeted by Jelly Belly's huge smile. 
Right behind her was another littler girl who said, "I am coming to your house today." 

I nervously replied, "Yes you are."

Jelly Belly had her first official big girl playdate. 
A friend from preschool came to our house without her mommy or daddy.
I was nervous and wasn't quite sure what to expect. 

I was a bit shocked that there was no arguing, fighting crying, or pouting. 

There was music, coloring, barbies, play do, moon sand (everywhere), babies, strollers, tent and finger painting.  It felt like each time I was done setting something up, they were done with it. I think the most one activity lasted was15 minutes.

I don't know how I managed to make dinner (thankfully it was a crockpot day), clean the kitchen counters and empty and load the dishwaher.

When I tried to join in on the fun and play with Jelly Belly and her friend, I was told that grow ups could not play.
I like this friend.

I overheard Jelly Belly talk a lot about Danny and Penny today, and it was a bit weird to me since she had a real friend infront of her. 
Most of the time, I play along with her or completely ignore it.
Today, I wasn't really sure how to handle it.

At one point, her friend ran to me and said, "She keeps talking about Danny and Penny."

I said, "I know, Jelly Belly has pretend friends.  She doesn't have brothers or sisters but she really wants one, so she makes them up."

Her friend replied, "Ok, she always talks about Danny and Penny at school", then she quickly ran off....

I am still unsure if my explanation was appropriate. But all I keep thinking is, "please don't make fun of my Jelly Belly and is this something I should be concerned about?"

Our playdate has left me with all kinds of wacky thoughts. 
Will we ever have another baby?

Someday Jelly Belly.   It will happen when we least expect it.
Someday you will be the best big sister to a real sibbling.
For now, I would really like to know how you ended up on the bean bag last night.

I wonder if Danny and Penny had anything to do with it.

Tomorrow is Friendship Friday...hope you join in on the FUN!

Friendship Friday # 3

Welcome everyone!

It's Friendship Friday at Funwithbella and a Friday Follow Celebration, hosted by

One To Try, Hearts Make Families, Midday Escapades!

Thank you for stopping by! I hope you take a minute or two to look around! And now on to my Friendship Friday...

Before Jelly Belly was born, it took a lot of effort for me to make conversation with people I did not know.

Motherhood changed all that.

Soon after her birth, I found myself at La Leche meetings and talking to complete strangers at the grocery store and at the library. I even reached out to women on-line and participated in forums and discussions.  I truly surprised myself.  I especially surprised the hubby.  Having a child instantly connected me to women I never knew existed. I initiated conversations in hopes of finding someone else who was experiencing nursing nightmares and sleepless nights. Becoming a mother brought me many opportunities to make new friends and strengthened the friendships I already had. All of a sudden I had lots to talk about and lots to share.  I became more open minded, less judgmental and welcomed the chance to interact with other moms. 

I am so glad I did. 

Thank you Jelly Belly for bringing new friends into our lives.

I hope you consider joining us on FUN Friendship Fridays
and
Be sure to head over to

One To Try, Hearts Make Families, Midday Escapades!

to make new friends!

Balancing Act

The past 2 days have been crazy busy.
Jelly Belly has woken up before 7 asking for her Lucky Charms.

Just imagine a lot of running around that included:

Lots of working out

Her preschool's Build with Junk Day

My Dermatologist Appointment (adult acne sucks)

Her 2nd opinion Dentist Appointment (this was worse than my acne)

Ballet Class

Gymnastics Class

Park Playdate

Lots and lots of laundry that still needs to be put away

Some cleaning, but not enough

Cooking (2 nights in a row)

and the list goes on...

There has been no down time and my free time has been spent on the internet checking out numerous blogs, Spring Fling, Wordless Wednesdays and UBP posts.  I can't pin point exactly what has me hooked on what is referred to as the blogosphere; but it has sucked me in. 

I am struggling to balance it all without neglecting Jelly Belly, the hubby and other things. I need more time.

I am feeling exhausted, but I go to work tomorrow and I can REST.

Three and a half years ago, I would have never referred to my career as a chance to rest.

How things have changed...

Friday will be Friendship Friday.  I hope you consider joining me in this new meme.

Your post can be anything related to friendship, your friends, your kids' friends, online friends....

Here are my first 2 Friendship Fridays, I hope I can keep it up! And I know it's Friday so feel free to keep it simple, I have!

Friendship Friday 1

Friendship Friday 2

Time to eat my sugar free popsicle and catch up on my Gossip Girl. I drank so much green tea today that I will be up until midnight and up before 6.

Growing Pains

I used to love this show. 

It was the best TV show ever.  I even bought the Tiger Beat magazines and my mom didn't stop me from covering my walls with posters.

I am not a fan anymore.

I am no longer talking about Mike Seaver but the leg pain that often wakes up my jelly belly.

Being woken up in the middle of the night is not what bothers me (ok-it does) but what really gets me are the tears and the sobbing I have to hear. She truly is in pain. The hubby right away remembered when he experienced growing pains. I, on the other hand, did not want to believe him.

At first, it was hard not to let my mind wander; to automatically go into panic mode and think the worse each time I heard, “Mommmmy, my leg hurts." But with time, I have noticed it usually happens when she has had a very active day. Our pediatrician has told us it’s common and one of those things that cannot be explained. There is no reason to be concerned unless the pain seems to be in the joints or it is accompanied by swelling. She also responds positively to massage, which is key in ruling out something more serious.

On the nights that she wakes every 2-3 hours, I find myself frantically looking for Ibuprofen or Tylenol in her bathroom cabinet. That usually does the trick. But there are times when I wonder if medicine is really necessary. But what is a sleepy mom supposed to do when she asks for it?

It must really help her feel better and I think Dr. Seaver and Maggie Malone would do the same.

Easter Aftermath

A sick mama is not as bad as having a sick kiddo, but it is definitely not fun! A stomach bug has gotten the best of me. It started Friday, the night before our big Easter Egg Hunt party. I've had the chills, nausea, horrible headache, stomach pain. I will spare you the details. I don't know how I managed to survive our event in the backyard of our house and smile when I really felt like puking. I don't know how I got up the next day and made the 10 o'clock Easter mass, but I did. Sometimes motherhood makes you find that last little drop of strength we all have.

I am still feeling sick today and I am feeling overwhelmed. I am getting behind on everything. I stayed home from work today. Not such a great thing for a part-timer without sick time who only works twice a week. I am feeling a bit disconnected from Jelly Belly. Last week, I will admit that this blog and many others consumed a lot of my free time. Then, there was the prepping for our event. Now my sickness has caused Daddy to pick up a lot of the daily routine. She keeps asking when I will get better, then quickly followed with a very whiny "My tummy hurts too". I loved overhearing Daddy tell her the story of the little boy who cried wolf today.

My crackers and Gatorade gave me enough energy to sit down and let her paint. I sat next to her and quietly observed; a very hard thing to do for the control freak and perfectionist in me.

You are stuck with me!

Today, I had one of those days where I feel like telling Jelly Belly, “Sorry you are stuck with me.” I was cranky, irritable, just not having a good mom day. I always feel bad afterwards. Guilt, it gets the best out of me. She did nothing out of the ordinary, but I am not proud of the way I handled things today. I gave up yelling for lent today. My husband laughs at me. I think I have done pretty well. I usually find enough patience in me to explain in a calm way why I don’t like it when she takes her socks off at the gym’s day care or at the playground, or why she shouldn’t do this or that. I try to take the time to give her options so she feels somewhat in control of her life. I give her warnings and explain the consequences she may face. Today was not one of those days. All I wanted to do was scream “because I said so!”

I had no patience for her silliness, or energy to ask her a million times to do something. I should have known it was going to be one of those days when she came in to the den holding her plate, cup and bagel all at once, she was so proud. “Mom, I can carry all of this” and then suddenly everything slips out of her tiny hands and she drenched herself in water, yep, the cup was full. We were late to the library once again.

In the afternoon, I realized I needed to check my work email. I set up a worksheet for her to do, she usually loves these. She calls them her homework. Today, she lasted less than 3 minutes. Then, I set up a puzzle for her in the same room, but she had no focus. I finished up my work and actually sat down with her. I was not in the mood for puzzles. My patience was thin. Then, sweet little belly wanted to sit on my lap. Not a terrible request, but I wanted no part of it! I wanted my personal space. I wanted her to stop talking. She then got upset because I did not want to share my apple with her. I knew the only reason she wanted it was because it was mine. She had just finished lunch. I catch myself. Did I really just tell her NO, it’s mine! Yikes, I give in. She sucks on my apple and then gives it back to me, all soggy. Gross.

Then she got upset because I picked up the wrong puzzle piece. “I wanted to do that one”, she says. Any other day, we would have worked through it. Today I made it worse. It ended up with me saying or maybe yelling, "I need some alone time". She was so upset, but admitted she was tired and wanted to take a nap. Yeah, right!! But she had quiet time in her room, it lasted maybe 30 minutes. Then she comes out and says, “Mommy can we please have a happy ending”. And I manage to give her a smile.

She really wants to drive

Every night I take a few pills and tonight Jelly Belly was watching closely.

Bella: When I am older, can I have those?

Me: Sure of course, Do you know how old I am?

Bella: No--(I have told her a couple of times)

Me: I am 33.

Bella: And when I am 33, I can drive?

Me: You can drive sooner than that, you only have to be 18 to drive.

Bella: WoW!

She was so excited. I thought we were done and boy was I wrong...about 30 minutes later. Jelly Belly's eyes were twinkling with excitement after she came up with the following list:

Bella: When I am older I can...
wash the dishes, push the grocery cart, go to the grocery store, do the dishes, make you dinner, make your tea, make daddy coffee, climb the ladder, put on my own TV show, drive to the movies, drive you and daddy to the movies, drive to the library, and you can sit in the back like me....

Me: um.....no, why can't I sit next to you? oh you can mommy, but I will drive...

Bella: And I can drive you to the doctors, and clean the whole house and when I am older, I won't need a booster, I can do the laundry all by myself, I can drive me to the movies, I will be the mommy.

Me: No, I will always be the mommy

Bella: But I will be the driver....

My eyes were also twinkling with excitment, I envisioned her taking care of me and doing all my chores until finally realized that this whole conversation should have been filmed! And so at least it has brought me back to this blog.

It's been way too long, more to come soon.

June 25

How can I be this patient? Inside I felt like screaming!! Isabella insisted (again) that she needed to bring her baby with us to the gym. She had to wrap her baby up in a blanket, which takes a very long time, then grabbed her purse and off to the car we go. Then, my patience was tested again, as she HAD to sit her baby next to her car seat with a seatbelt on. This whole process took forever, and all I wanted to do was get to the gym. Thankfully she did not want to step on the rocks on our way out or walk on the edge of the sidewalk. By then, I am sure I would have said something that would have caused her to say..."mommy don't be so mean to me"...Patience is a virtue!