Where is my sweet Jelly Belly?

Motherhood has not been very fun lately.
To be honest, I have felt like running away from Jelly Belly more than once this past week.

Yep, I totally jinxed myself last week.  It was too good to be true.  Good behavior, what is that?

My child is possessed!

That's how I felt this morning, that is the text message I sent to my friend.

I called my husband, not knowing what to do.  I can't even describe it.
She has been screaming at me and it is getting worse!  Mostly, when she doesn't want to do something.

She was sent to her room, shortly after I woke her, even before the Lucky Charms. This is what I heard:

I don't like you.
It's not fair.
I don't want to be in my room.

It's not what she is saying that concerns me the most but how she says it. So much anger, and I have no idea where it is coming from.

I don't know what to do. I even considered looking for a full time job today.  Are we spending too much time together? What am I doing wrong.  Lots of questions, and no answers. 
This discipline crap is hard!

She ended up taking a nap today.  I ignored her for a bit and then found her asleep on the couch. She slept for 4 hours! Somebody was tired. 

Almost midnight and she is still awake!
Please let tomorrow be a better mommy day, you know the kind of day the you have never ending patience and love and manage to stay calm and cool....
The kind of day where yelling does not exist and mommy doubts don't enter your mind.

Please let it be a better mommy day!

Everything happens for a reason

As if life could not get any more stressful, I was in a car accident on Monday afternoon.

I am okay and thank God that I am alive. I have a broken toe, a sprained ankle and lots of bruises. I thank God that Jelly Belly was not in the car.

I don't remember much but it was the scariest thing I have ever been through.
I am so thankful God took care of me. I am trying so hard to be positive. Considering our Big Announcement, the timing could not be any worse. I keep telling myself that somehow things will work out. Everything happens for a reason.

I am having a hard time turning off the little voices in my head.
How could this have happened? We are suppose to leave for California next week to find a place to live. He starts his job on the 24th, I can't even walk. A higher cost of living and now a car payment, there is just no way.

I keep staring at my treadmill, wondering when I will be on it again. I must confess that I even weighed myself today, I am up 5 lbs. in 5 days, how can that be possible? It's got to be the swelling, right? And why oh why am I even thinking of my weight?

I am alive, and I am thankful but I am praying for strenghth to get us through this.

Jelly Belly has been amazing. She understands that I am in pain. The day of the accident, she was very upset when the day came to an end and I had not arrived to pick her up yet. She was told I had a headache and had to go to the doctor. Grandma did her best to calm her down but Jelly Belly insisted on going home. Tia A. brought her home a little bit after midnight, shortly after we got home from the hospital. Luckily she was asleep.

The next morning, she came in and asked if my head was okay and told me that she heard Grandma on the phone saying I had been in an accident. This confirms that she fully understands Grandma when she speaks Spanish.  We didn't give her any details but she cried a bit when we said it was true. She did not like the bruises and scratches and became very worried when she saw me walk/hop for the first time. Since then she has been very helpful, holding my hand each time I need to go potty and giving me lots of tender kisses.

I miss my daily routine with her, I miss hugging her and squeezing her. My family and friends have been wonderful.
I am so grateful for everyone's help, prayers and support.  Something good will come out of this, since everything happens for a reason.

Growing Pains

I used to love this show. 

It was the best TV show ever.  I even bought the Tiger Beat magazines and my mom didn't stop me from covering my walls with posters.

I am not a fan anymore.

I am no longer talking about Mike Seaver but the leg pain that often wakes up my jelly belly.

Being woken up in the middle of the night is not what bothers me (ok-it does) but what really gets me are the tears and the sobbing I have to hear. She truly is in pain. The hubby right away remembered when he experienced growing pains. I, on the other hand, did not want to believe him.

At first, it was hard not to let my mind wander; to automatically go into panic mode and think the worse each time I heard, “Mommmmy, my leg hurts." But with time, I have noticed it usually happens when she has had a very active day. Our pediatrician has told us it’s common and one of those things that cannot be explained. There is no reason to be concerned unless the pain seems to be in the joints or it is accompanied by swelling. She also responds positively to massage, which is key in ruling out something more serious.

On the nights that she wakes every 2-3 hours, I find myself frantically looking for Ibuprofen or Tylenol in her bathroom cabinet. That usually does the trick. But there are times when I wonder if medicine is really necessary. But what is a sleepy mom supposed to do when she asks for it?

It must really help her feel better and I think Dr. Seaver and Maggie Malone would do the same.